Despite all that, though, we're gonna put on our best trooper faces and force our way through Christmas. I'll admit the shopping part has been kind of fun, and kind of weird. But then weirdness tends to follow me.
There's a place down here called The Junk Barn. It's exactly what it sounds like, except it's not just a barn - it's about 20 acres on either side of the barn, too, and you'll find everything from old traffic signs to junked cars to a creepy zombie doll that terrified me.
|WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW|
Cade suggested we visit The Junk Barn to pick out a present for his mom, who tends to like unique, interesting gifts. I suspect he just wanted an excuse to browse; the last few times he's convinced me to go, we've spent hours at a time. I usually throw a mini-fit and force him to leave after three hours there.
Anyway, presents. We found a pretty nifty shelf-type thing that used to be part of a press for $30. The problem: Cade only had $25 on him, and they don't accept cards.
We approached the owner, who has to be at least 85. He looked distracted with what I assumed was a live animal trap that he couldn't get to work, and he was muttering strings of curses that would embarrass my most foul-mouthed friend. I mean, I assume they were curses, since he was ranting around a thumb-sized lump of tobacco in his lip.
I asked the guy if he'd take $25 for the shelf, and he gave us this long, calculating look, like he was deciding whether or not we were legit. Then, without saying anything, he went back to fiddling with the trap.
Cade, being a helpful handyman, asked him if he needed help fixing the trap. The guy said he couldn't get it to work, and he had a stray cat trapped in his attic and there was no way they could go see family on Christmas if there was a cat in the house. He had to trap it and let it go outside.
Cade agreed to help him fix it, and they went to town on the trap. He stuck a pair of needle-nose in the trap and fiddled with it for about five minutes as I doubtfully watched. Sure enough, Cade fixed the stupid thing.
The guy looked at Cade, then me, then he shrugged and said "Aw shur, go erhead 'n take it fer twenny-five." We were ecstatic and happily loaded our find in his car.
It wasn't until we got home that we noticed the spider nest in the bottom shelf.
Hooray for Christmas miracles.